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As we get older, it’s completely normal to bump into moments where the things we used to breeze through suddenly feel… well, not so breezy. Maybe it’s physical changes, maybe it’s energy levels, maybe it’s memory, or maybe life just shifted around us. Whatever the reason, it can leave us feeling frustrated, discouraged, or even a little unsure of who we are now. But here’s the good news: getting older doesn’t close doors. It just means we sometimes walk through them a little differently.
One of the kindest things we can do for themselves is modify the activity rather than giving it up. Almost every hobby has a gentler version. If gardening feels like too much kneeling or bending, container gardening on the porch can bring the same sense of peace and purpose without the strain. If cooking full meals becomes tiring, using pre-chopped ingredients or choosing simpler recipes can keep the joy alive. And for book lovers whose eyes don’t cooperate the way they used to, audiobooks or large-print editions are lifesavers. We still get the story — we’re just enjoying it through a different doorway.
Another huge help is breaking activities into smaller, more manageable pieces. What once took an hour might need to become a 10-minute moment. And that’s okay. There’s no rulebook that says everything has to be done all at once. Small steps still count, and they add up. In fact, taking things slowly can even make the activity more enjoyable. When we allow ourselves to celebrate those small wins, it builds confidence and reduces the pressure to “keep up with the old version” of ourselves.
Companionship can make a world of difference, too. Many seniors find that tasks that feel overwhelming alone suddenly become fun with a buddy. Maybe that’s a friend to walk with, someone to share a hobby with, or even a volunteer who helps with setup or cleanup. Community centers, senior programs, and hobby clubs also create spaces where people can feel supported, capable, and connected. Doing things together isn’t just easier — it’s more enjoyable.
On a practical level, there are so many helpful tools now designed specifically to make life smoother. Jar openers, reachers, magnifiers, rollators, adaptive kitchen gadgets—these aren’t reminders of limitations, but tools that protect independence. When we use them, we’re choosing empowerment, not giving in.
Sometimes the trick isn’t to change the activity, but to find a new version of the old joy. Someone who once loved hiking might fall in love with gentle nature walks, scenic drives, or birdwatching. A former dancer might enjoy chair dancing or slow, joyful movement classes. The heart of the hobby stays the same; the expression of it just adapts.
And maybe the most important piece: it’s okay to feel grief during these changes. Aging brings loss alongside its wisdom, and it’s normal to feel sad or frustrated when abilities shift. Those feelings don’t mean someone is weak—they mean they’re human. But aging also brings room to discover new interests, new communities, and new ways to shine.
Life doesn’t shrink with age. It reshapes. And there’s still so much joy available — sometimes we just have to pick it up in a slightly different way.
December 10, 2025
NEXT BIWEEKLY BLOG COMING UP ON: WEDNESDAY December 24, 2025 WITH MERRI MACARTNEY The famous author of the book : "Don't Die Before You're Dead"
Why It’s So Hard to Take a Compliment
Ever notice how a simple “You look great!” or “I’m proud of you!” can make your entire nervous system short-circuit? Suddenly you’re laughing it off, changing the subject, or pointing out all the reasons it isn’t true.
There’s a reason so many of us squirm when kindness comes our way — and it has very little to do with confidence and everything to do with how our brains learned to stay safe.
For a lot of people, compliments feel like expectations:
If someone sees something good in you, a part of your brain thinks, “Now I have to live up to that.” Kindness becomes pressure instead of warmth.
For others, compliments bump up against old conditioning — maybe you grew up in an environment where being humble was expected, emotions were minimized, or praise was rare. Your nervous system learned that receiving positive attention is unfamiliar, unpredictable, or even unsafe.
And sometimes, compliments simply shine a light on parts of us we haven’t learned to appreciate yet. When someone reflects something beautiful back to us, it can feel easier to dodge it than to actually let it in.
But here’s the invitation: as we move through the holiday season — a season full of giving — let this also be a season of receiving.
Try softening your shoulders, taking a breath, and simply saying, “Thank you.” Not because you fully believe the compliment yet, but because your nervous system deserves the experience of being held with kindness.
And if taking in goodness feels hard, therapy (including EMDR) can help untangle those old patterns so receiving feels just as natural as giving.
December 10, 2025
NEXT BIWEEKLY BLOG COMING UP ON: WEDNESDAY December 24, 2025 WITH Alyssa Brewer
Navigating the Holiday Season, Whether Alone or Surrounded by Loved Ones
What if we gave ourselves permission to experience the holidays our own way?
The twinkling lights… and the shadows we too often ignore
December brings with it a unique atmosphere. The streets light up, Christmas carols resonate everywhere, and shop windows fill with gifts and invitations to joy. For many, it’s a time of love, reunions, and family laughter. But for others, perhaps for you, this time of year awakens a profound sense of loneliness, nostalgia, or inadequacy.
I often see it in my clients, and I’ve felt it myself. This paradox of the heart that longs to rejoice but silently carries grief, absence, or an overwhelming feeling.
What if we dared to approach the holidays differently? Without forcing yourself to be “in the spirit” when you’re not. Without feeling guilty if your heart isn’t as festive as the decorations.
People surrounded by others… but not always connected.
You can be surrounded by ten people around the table and feel profoundly alone. Because no one truly knows what you’re going through inside. Because you don’t dare say that this time of year is getting you down. Because you’re still carrying the scars of grief, emptiness, or separation.
I remember one Christmas when I was surrounded by people, of course, but I carried a sorrow I didn’t dare name. I laughed, I participated, but I felt a world away from what was happening around me. That’s often what inner loneliness is.
If this is what you’re experiencing, I encourage you to create a little space for yourself each day. Just a few minutes of reconnecting with yourself. Of genuine listening. Write down some thoughts in a journal, treat yourself to a walk outside, savor a cup of tea in silence. Even with a busy schedule, you have the right to reconnect with your heart.
And if you’re alone this Christmas…
I also want to speak to you, who may be spending the holidays alone this year. Whether it’s a choice, a consequence of grief, a separation, or simply a phase in your life, you are no less worthy of love or happiness.
You can create your own version of the holiday season. A version that reflects who you are. One that may not follow traditions, but that nurtures your well-being.
Here are a few simple ideas that I also share with my clients:
1. Create a ritual that makes you feel good
Light a candle each evening while naming something you want to honor. A person, a quality, a memory, something you’re grateful for. This little ritual can become a guiding light in your days.
2. Prepare a special meal for yourself, even if it’s just for one person. Set a beautiful table, even if it’s just for you. Choose your favorite dish, treat yourself to a small dessert or a festive drink. You deserve just as much love and attention as if you were hosting guests.
3. Do something kind for someone else. A postcard, a kind note, a surprise box for a neighbor, a donation to a charity. Giving, even in small ways, can warm the heart.
4. Plan a special moment with yourself. Watch a moving movie, read an inspiring book, take a candlelit bath, listen to soothing music. Make your home a sanctuary, even if just for one night.
What if we normalized all forms of Christmas?
There’s no right way to experience the holidays. There’s YOUR way. Whether you’re experiencing bursts of joy or a more introspective moment, every experience is valid.
I’ve had Christmases filled with laughter and others filled with silent tears. I’ve had boisterous dinners and quiet Christmas Eves spent alone. And I’ve learned that through all these experiences, I can stay true to myself and what I needed that year.
A few tips for experiencing the holidays with presence and gentleness:
1. Give yourself permission to adjust traditions: You don’t have to do everything the same way. You can simplify, modify, reinvent.
2. Listen to your energy: If you feel the need to say no to an invitation or to go home early, honor that need.
3. Be gentle with yourself: It’s normal to experience waves of emotion, even in the midst of the festivities.
4. Find your grounding: A walk in nature, mindful breathing, a call to a trusted person can change everything.
5. Light a symbolic candle: To remind yourself that even on the longest nights, there’s a spark within you that never dies.
6. A heartfelt wish for yourself: A kind thought from yourself to yourself nourishes the heart with compassion and gentleness just as if the wish came from a loved one.
What I wish for you is a holiday season that reflects who you are.
A time when you can breathe.
A time when you can be true to yourself.
A time when you choose yourself, even in gentleness, even in slowness.
And if you feel the call, I’m here. With reading material, with support, with words that warm your heart. Because even if the world keeps turning with its lights and songs, your inner world deserves to be heard. And celebrated.
Warmly,
Claudine
December 10, 2025
