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As we get older, many of us spend more time alone. This can lead to an important question: Is being alone the same as being lonely? The answer is no — and understanding the difference can make a real difference in how we feel day to day.
Being alone simply means there is no one else around at the moment. For many seniors, alone time can be peaceful and even enjoyable. It might include reading, watching a favorite show, praying, resting, or enjoying a quiet cup of tea. When alone time is chosen, it can feel calming and comforting. There is nothing wrong with enjoying quiet moments by ourselves.
Being lonely is something different. Loneliness is a feeling, not a situation. We can feel lonely even when other people are nearby. Loneliness happens when we feel disconnected, unseen, or like no one truly understands how we are doing. It can sneak up slowly and is often hard to talk about.
Life changes can increase loneliness as we age. Retirement changes daily routines. Friends move away or pass on. Health or mobility issues can make it harder for us to get out. These experiences are common, and they are not a personal failure.
One Canadian survey says that 1 in 5 seniors face some extended periods of loneliness, even if they don’t talk about it openly. Friends and family may be the first to recognize it and are encouraged to step in to engage.
Here is the key difference to remember: being alone is about who is around us, while being lonely is about how we feel inside. We can spend a quiet afternoon alone and feel content. Or we can be around others and still feel lonely. Both experiences are very human.
So what helps most with loneliness? The most important thing is having at least one regular, meaningful connection.
It doesn’t have to be a lot of people. It doesn’t require a busy social life. One reliable connection can make a powerful difference. A weekly phone call, a regular visit, a standing coffee date, or a small group we attend often can bring comfort and reassurance.
What matters most is consistency. Knowing that someone will check in, listen, and care how we are doing helps us feel valued and remembered. It gives life a gentle rhythm and something to look forward to.
If reaching out feels hard, we can start small. A short call. A brief chat. A simple message. We don’t need deep conversations right away. Over time, small moments of connection can grow into something meaningful.
Being alone can be healthy. Feeling lonely does not mean something is wrong with us. It simply means we are human and wired for connection. With even one steady relationship, loneliness can soften — and life can feel warmer, more supported, and more hopeful at any age.
January 21, 2026
NEXT BIWEEKLY BLOG COMING UP ON: WEDNESDAY February 4, 2026 WITH MERRI MACARTNEY The famous author of the book : "Don't Die Before You're Dead"
You’re Allowed to Change Your Mind
Growth, boundaries, and letting go of old roles
Many of us were taught—directly or indirectly—that changing our mind meant we were inconsistent or unreliable. So we pick a role early on: the helper, the strong one, the peacemaker, the dependable one. And we stay there, even when it starts to feel uncomfortable or draining.
But growth often begins with a simple, honest realization: this no longer fits.
You’re allowed to change your mind about how much you give, what you tolerate, and what you need to feel well. From a therapy perspective, this isn’t a flaw—it’s a huge sign of healing. It’s your nervous system updating based on new experiences and insight.
If you’re trying to adopt a new belief or version of yourself, start small. Notice when an old role gets activated—when you feel the urge to over-explain, fix, or say yes automatically. Pause. Ask yourself, What would support me through this right now? That intentional pause puts you in the driver’s seat of your own life.
Practice boundaries in low-stakes situations first. Let yourself say no without over-justifying. Journal about what you’re afraid will happen if you change—and what might happen if you don’t. Your brain needs repetition and safety to learn something new.
Letting go of old roles can bring grief, guilt, or fear. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means your system is adjusting.
Therapy, including approaches like EMDR, can help you work with the beliefs underneath those roles—the ones that once kept you safe but no longer serve you.
Changing your mind isn’t a step backward.
It’s how growth becomes lived, not just understood.
January 21, 2026
NEXT BIWEEKLY BLOG COMING UP ON: WEDNESDAY February 4, 2026 WITH Alyssa Brewer
Letting Go of What No Longer Exists
Navigating Grief and Change Without Losing Yourself
There come times in life when something ends without our choosing. A person is no longer there. A relationship will never be the same again. A body, a role, a project, a version of yourself disappears. After a trial or a bereavement, life goes on, but it will never be exactly the same. I see this every day in my work with people, and I recognize it in myself as well. There is this suspended moment when we understand that we cannot go back, but we don’t yet know how to move forward.
Making peace with what is no more is not giving up. It is neither forgetting, nor minimizing, nor erasing what has been experienced. It is accepting that reality has changed, even if the heart still resists.
When Grief Transforms Life Forever
After a bereavement or a significant ordeal, many realize that their former life is no longer accessible. This can happen after a death, a separation, an illness, a career change, or a loss of identity. Even when daily life resumes its course, something inside remains unresolved. The person continues to function, to do what needs to be done, to meet expectations, but they feel that something is no longer flowing as it once did.
This transformation is not always visible from the outside. Yet, it is deeply ingrained in the body, in emotions, in the way one experiences life. This is often where the difficulty arises in making peace with what is no more.
Resisting Change: Often Invisible Contractions
Resistance is not always obvious. It can be very subtle, almost silent. It manifests as persistent fatigue, shortness of breath, heaviness in the chest, constant tension, and unusual irritability. These are well-hidden, yet very real, inner conflicts.
Resisting sometimes means clinging to the hope that things will go back to the way they were. It means trying to recreate a reality that no longer exists. It also means telling yourself that if you accept, you’ll lose what was dear to you forever. So, subconsciously, you fight. You move forward on the surface, but inwardly, you remain stuck. You’re going nowhere, often without even realizing it.
Your relationship with change: resistance, adaptation, or taking action?
We don’t all have the same relationship with change. Some people like change and adapt to it quickly. Others dislike it; it deeply unsettles them, but they move forward anyway, despite the discomfort. And then there are those for whom change is experienced as a threat, a loss of bearings, an overwhelming upheaval.
None of these relationships is bad. The essential thing is to be able to recognize how you experience change. Are you asking yourself if you’re resisting what’s already there? Are you trying to maintain the illusion of the past? Are you actively trying to avoid feeling anything, or are you freezing up, waiting for something to change from the outside? Bringing awareness to this is already a fundamental step in navigating grief.
Moving Forward or Stuck After a Hardship
Many people find themselves in a limbo after a bereavement or a hardship. They’re neither completely stopped nor truly moving forward. They’re surviving. They’re functioning. But they don’t feel fully alive. Stuck doesn’t mean doing nothing. It often means moving forward without being aligned with what’s truly being experienced inside.
Moving forward isn’t about going fast. It isn’t about forcing yourself to turn the page. Moving forward means being authentic. It means acknowledging what’s there, even if it’s uncomfortable.
The Key Ingredient for Moving Forward Peacefully in the Face of What Is No More
The key ingredient for moving forward peacefully is neither willpower, nor positivity, nor strength. It is embodied acceptance. An acceptance that doesn’t remain in the mind, but descends into the body. Welcoming into our body what it makes us experience, accepting that what is gone will not return and that life, despite everything, deserves to be fully lived.
When this acceptance begins to take hold, even gently, something releases. Breathing becomes deeper. The heart stops struggling. Energy begins to flow again. It’s not magic, nor instantaneous, but profoundly liberating.
How to Practically Move Forward After a Loss
Moving forward often begins with very small inner gestures. Daring to name what is gone, without softening or minimizing it. Observing our resistance without trying to eliminate it. Listening to the body’s signals rather than forcing it. Allow yourself to feel, even when it’s uncomfortable. Stop comparing yourself to those who seem to be moving faster.
Moving forward serenely means choosing, day after day, to no longer fight against reality, but to learn to live with it differently. It’s not a giant leap. It’s a series of small steps.
Making peace with what will no longer be: choosing life differently
Making peace with what will no longer be isn’t turning the page. It’s writing the next chapter with the pages that remain. Your life may no longer be what you imagined, but it can become more conscious, more authentic, more fulfilling. If you recognize yourself in these words, know that you are neither behind, nor weak, nor broken. You are on a journey. And sometimes, moving forward simply begins by ceasing to resist and giving yourself permission to be here, just as you are, now. One step at a time.
Wishing you a smooth transition through this life change.
Warmly, Claudine
January 21, 2026
